ASYLUM 67 EMBRACE THE MADNESS

Book Description:

. I written and published several small articles in my college newspaper, published several poems in a friend's poetry book, and won a Joke writing contest from my local book store. My name is Jackson Jones. This is a synopsis for my first full length novel "Asylum67" It's one of a series I have written full of new aged humor and adventure. It is appropriate for young adult or adults. The first book is just over 40k words long. Some of my greatest heros are Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams and my style of comedy seems to mirror theirs.


Thank you for considering my work,

Jackson Jones

361-548-8619

318 Old Robstown Rd

Corpus Christi, TX 78408





There are many realities built upon the same framework as our own. In fact there are many that mirror the human psyche so closely as to be indistinguishable. Then there are the others. Realities so far different that if ever they touched our own they would warp it completely and utterly. The prevention of this is the purpose of the Asylum. It is the gateway between normalcy and what we consider utter lunacy. Built upon the umbilical nexus of reality, it stands vigil. Long winding halls seem to stretch for miles. Thick doors that seal rips in time and space and giant orderly who stalks silently through the stillness. True guardianship lies with the inmates. For only they are equipped to deal with the madness that lurks on the far side of reality. Vigilant for any slight crack in the wall.

Gravityman is the unofficial leader of the band. He was placed into the asylum at a fairly young age when he started painting arrows pointing downward on his face and clothes. He believes that he has control over the planets' gravity, but he does not use that awesome power much for fear of causing planetary disasters.

Beardguy is the oldest member of the group. He has been in the asylum for longer than he can remember. Usually dressed in a plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves, jeans, and workman's boots, Beardguy is the most normal looking of the three. As the name suggests, he has an impressive beard with a life of its own. His power involves all things involving facial hair and includes the unearthly phenomenon of beard-a-portation and beard-apathy.

Randyman, a foreign exchange superhero that showed up on the steps with no return address adds his own unique characteristics. His outfit of choice, a body condom made of shiny, black rubber, where only his head remains uncovered. He wears the symbol of a stick figure with three legs upon his chest. Randyman's power is his libido. He believes if anything comes in contact with the skin below his neck, it will get pregnant.

Next is Inhumane man. He's not really part of the group and nobody seems to know much about him except that he was there before Beardguy, and as his name implies he enjoys inflicting torment. Inhumane man dons a business suit with an expensive overcoat. He has an absurdly large, bean-shaped head and wears a green ski-mask over his face. His eyes becoming half-moon crescents of glee when something bad is about to happen. He enjoys a hot cup of tea wherever he goes, and wherever he is, things are continually going wrong. Most people don't seem to realize he's there.

On the antagonist side of the room stands Farkus Hood. An old foe from Gravityman's past, he is trying to break into the asylum. He has discovered the asylum’ s secret purpose of protecting reality and he intends to pull the plug (so to speak) in order to advance civilization through forced evolution. He's a very shady character always dressed in rags, a face hidden beneath a shadowy hood. His powers are those born of twisted genius.

Mambo Bonsai is both henchman and bodyguard to Farkus. He is a veritable giant of a man with impressive strength and probably more brains than he lets on. He dresses normally except for a large scarf that he always wears to conceal the bottom half of his face.

McSancho is an eccentric billionaire with a bit, but colorful part in this insane world. He is of Middle Eastern descent but wants everyone to think he is Mexican. One of many companies he owns is the popular Taco Hole fast food chain. He can usually be found wandering around in a curly blue wig, dressed like a clown, and feeding his pet donkey tacos.

Their story begins with our three heroes plotting yet another escape attempt from their nearly deserted prison. Randyman has the bright idea of breaking out through a system of secret tunnels that used to be used to sneak in high-profile patients. The three decide not to tell Inhumane man as they feel the world is better off without him. They don't notice him eavesdropping from the shadows while they flesh-out their plans.

The escape attempt goes without a hitch and the three find themselves exiting the tunnels and entering a forest. Randyman produces a map, but having no pockets, neither of the other two want to know where he has been keeping the map. While he is gone retrieving the map, the local flora, just as alive as they are, advise Gravityman and Beardguy to escape before the fairies get them. They aren't fast enough. The fairies have caught them and take them to an audience with a fairy king, a frog, who is himself, clearly in a drug-induced stupor. Beardguy gets in trouble for mouthing off to this frog king and gets sent to a jungle dungeon. But, chaos has erupted elsewhere as well and in order to free his friend, Gravityman must first stop a monster that has been terrorizing the village nearby. In order to find the monster he finds he must visit a sage, named Peligula, who lives deep in the woods.

When Gravityman finally finds Peligula (or more accurately when Peligula finds Gravityman) the two of them have to collect odd items to aid in Peligula's 'seeing'. He eventually tells Gravityman that the monster is going to show up at the village and to wait for it. The monster that shows up, instead turns out to be a crazy Hobo named Harv who is just interested in the fairy village because it is made up of aluminum cans. Harv has lots of stray cats roped to himself and uses them to fight. It also turns out that Harv got a hold of Randyman and was dragging him along. A fight ensues and afterwards, Randyman regains consciousness and finds Gravityman dragging him back to the fairy village...where they also find Beardguy in a deserted area. Beardguy claims that Harv took all the cans and then ate all the fairies and the frog too. But, it was actually Beardguy who ate them all and now he is addicted to fairies.

The three heroes continue on their way by hitching a ride on a train. Inhumane man is following them and in-town a traffic jam stops them all. They discover that to cope with their freedom they must find work. Beardguy runs away when Gravityman almost catches him eating some fairies on the train. Gravityman and Randyman try to find work on their own. Hilarity ensues as Randyman tries to get jobs he's not qualified for and when he finally does get a job at Taco Hole, it doesn't take long for Gravityman to tick off McSancho and get the entire store fired.

During the entire time they’ve been away, Farkus Hood and Mambo Bonsai have broken into the asylum and are in the process of finding the 'Plug'.

A voice in the closet in their motel room tells Gravityman and Randyman that they must find Beardguy and get back to the asylum because it is their sworn duty to protect reality by protecting the asylum. That was why they were in there in the first place. They decide to split up and Gravityman heads for the asylum while Randyman tries to find Beardguy. Gravityman meets up with a strange trucker that turns out to be an orderly at the asylum that is coming back from his vacation. Randyman finds Beardguy and they beard-a-port back to Gravityman only to end up also in the clutches of Orderly Dan.

But, a new character has just finished creating his supercomputer in his mom's house and he eventually becomes the digital hero Expendable Guy. His power is that he is a game character and can die without having to be inconvenienced by it too much.

Farkus and Mambo have teamed up with a mental elemental named Flalingrast. They all want to unleash their own brand of chaos energy (though for different reasons) and so together they continue to search the asylum.

The heroes finally make it back into the asylum and they must follow Farkus and his hench-beings to the deepest levels of the asylum in an effort to stop them. They do arrive in time, however they fail to do so in the end. Flalingrast shows his true colors and the only thing that saves everyone is the psychotic Orderly Dan.

Mambo and Farkus manage to escape into another dimension in the confusion and the heroes must begin making plans to hunt down the villains before they can do more damage. The villains are making plans of their own however………...